Have To, Get To, Want To, Need To

by Ruth Ann Harnisch on 02/16/10 at 10:21 pm

Day 47

Yesterday I wrote that I am resisting the urge to write volumes about my TED experience.

Janet Ginsburg sent a thoughtful comment , which deserves a reply.

First, one of the TED Talks that I predict will be the next talk-heard-’round-the-world is a talk from an audience member at TEDActive in Palm Springs.  A young woman talks about having an expiry date from a brain tumor, and shares her philosophy of living and dying. You will receive this in your mailbox more times than you got Susan Boyle .

Anyway, I want to write in detail about that at some point, and many other TED Talks  which I hope you’ll watch and share with others.

To address Janet’s point: I’m not stifling my urge to create – I’m stifling my urge to make it a JOB.  The author Barbara Jenkins  once told me she has to write. She can’t not write.  I had no idea what she was talking about.  I spent decades writing on command, on demand, for grades or for money.  How many words do you want?  What do you need the piece to accomplish? What are the guidelines? When do you need it?  Who’s going to whack it or fact-check it or pass judgment on it?

See, that’s how I think of writing.  Not the free flow of creative expression, but the written-and-rewritten-and-edited-and-rewritten, within parameters.  Unlike Barbara, who has to write, I get to write, and if I need to write it’s because I’ve promised somebody something on deadline.  I’ve promised myself to post something on this site every day, whether or not I actually write it that day.  Therefore this is not work, but a personal commitment of discipline during sabbatical.

I don’t have to do it – I get to do it.

And I’m grateful for that.


5 Comments

Cynthia Manley

Feb 17th, 2010

Great post, Ruth Ann. I too spent years writing as a job. Then as I “grew” in my career, kept thinking that I was supposed to move up the ladder so that I wouldn’t be the one writing, but instead assigning, editing maybe, but not writing. I’m learning, as I approach an empty nest and settle into middle age, that actually writing is more of a calling than I realized. I am actually quite good at it. And that is actually more rare than I had realized. So I’m finding ways to write again, and embracing that talent and strength.

As for the “get to” framework. I’m trying that this year with a lot of things, including “I get to go to work” and “I get to pay my bills.” Many cannot in this economy. Why should I approach either with dread. I’m lucky.

Thanks for starting my day on a positive note!

Dr. Lynn K. Jones

Feb 17th, 2010

Hi Ruth Ann,
I haven’t commented in a while, but it is not that I haven’t been reading! I love following your project. Today struck a chord with me and it was the reframing of “having to” vs. “getting to” do something. It amazes me, when I remember to do it, how powerful that is. I frequently feel that way about working out. More often than not, I am not that psyched about it, especially at 7 am, when I am scheduled for my sessions. But when I remind myself how lucky I am that I can work out, that it is a gift, it shifts everything for me.
Appreciatively,
Lynn

Rosemary

Feb 17th, 2010

Love getting to read you, getting you. Is that “gotcha” journalism? ;-)

J.A. Ginsburg

Feb 18th, 2010

I really do understand….

Moments ago, I booked a trip to Italy – part business, part not – all pretty lovely. And I am not taking a computer. As one somewhat surprised friend put it, “Janet without a computer is like an artichoke without a heart!”

Well, h’mmmm, yes. But beyond the surreptitious joy of shocking, I really want to try to be in the moment., looking out real windows, not through an enchanted screen; wandering well-worn paths, not chasing after promising links.

The last few years have been an “all emotions at the ready / rising to the occasion” journey for me, so I think it’s going to be good to step off for a bit and pay a different kind of attention.

That said, the last time I made a version of this trip – as it happened at the beginning of said “journey”– I also went sans computer, but filled notebook after luscious Italian notebook the old fashioned way, with a pen. I’ve never read them and doubt I ever will. But it was so wonderful to write them. It turns out that if I don’t have a place to put x number of words each day, it’s just not good…

Having done my share of writing-to-word-count, railing against arbitrary deadlines and suffering the exquisite torture of hurry-up-and-wait edits, I can totally appreciate where you’re coming from with writing as craft / discipline / work / privilege. My path to journalism was almost accidental, so for me writing isn’t framed in quite the same way. I am a writer whether or not anyone reads what I write – and even if it is not that good. Writing is as basic as breathing. It’s a way of thinking.

But I also love to read…so….Don’t stop writing!

best,

Janet

Linda Just

Feb 19th, 2010

I have been resisting the purchase of a smart phone. I’ve observed those who use this type of phone and they are constantly with their faces ‘in’ their phone. I currently use a $10 Nokia. Same for traveling. Something I don’t do very often. No computer. I want to be seeing and smelling the roses, or writing about in a keepsake journal. The get to do is about choice. The ability to observe and comment, is the gift you share with us.

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