Comments on: Warning Label (I Should Come With One) http://ruthannharnisch.com/the-philanthropist/warning-label-i-should-come-with-one/ Wed, 28 Jul 2010 22:46:13 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc By: Sherry Lowry http://ruthannharnisch.com/the-philanthropist/warning-label-i-should-come-with-one/comment-page-1/#comment-209 Sherry Lowry Thu, 04 Feb 2010 04:44:21 +0000 http://ruthannharnisch.com/?p=271#comment-209 Priceless! This one begs to be published far and wide! And hey! Charge neutral is often just totally useless, possibly even unfair as an operational "policy," for those fortunate clients (and friends) who totally trust your intention and literally NO ONE else in their organization, life, etc - is willing to take the risk of direct communication that is actually a gift. Priceless! This one begs to be published far and wide!

And hey! Charge neutral is often just totally useless, possibly even unfair as an operational “policy,” for those fortunate clients (and friends) who totally trust your intention and literally NO ONE else in their organization, life, etc – is willing to take the risk of direct communication that is actually a gift.

]]> By: Nancy Pitz http://ruthannharnisch.com/the-philanthropist/warning-label-i-should-come-with-one/comment-page-1/#comment-84 Nancy Pitz Mon, 05 Oct 2009 22:14:20 +0000 http://ruthannharnisch.com/?p=271#comment-84 As a manager for many years, diplomacy for me had to be learned, I wanted to tell it straight as it was, but, perhaps it's just my style from where I come from. People always told it as it was, no sugar coating right Ruthie? As a manager for many years, diplomacy for me had to be learned, I wanted to tell it straight as it was, but, perhaps it’s just my style from where I come from. People always told it as it was, no sugar coating right Ruthie?

]]> By: Linda Just http://ruthannharnisch.com/the-philanthropist/warning-label-i-should-come-with-one/comment-page-1/#comment-82 Linda Just Mon, 05 Oct 2009 21:04:55 +0000 http://ruthannharnisch.com/?p=271#comment-82 Funny, isn't it? A very good friend once told me I expect too much of my friends. Was I being set up? Funny, isn’t it?

A very good friend once told me I expect too much of my friends.

Was I being set up?

]]> By: Alice C. Burr (MacKearnin) http://ruthannharnisch.com/the-philanthropist/warning-label-i-should-come-with-one/comment-page-1/#comment-78 Alice C. Burr (MacKearnin) Mon, 10 Aug 2009 17:15:11 +0000 http://ruthannharnisch.com/?p=271#comment-78 Hey Ruthie!!!! You are not a drama queen, but you are dramatic ! ....and our moms are still friends!!! Wishing you the best......xxxooo Alice Hey Ruthie!!!! You are not a drama queen, but you are dramatic ! ….and our moms are still friends!!! Wishing you the best……xxxooo Alice

]]> By: Julianne http://ruthannharnisch.com/the-philanthropist/warning-label-i-should-come-with-one/comment-page-1/#comment-77 Julianne Thu, 06 Aug 2009 01:04:52 +0000 http://ruthannharnisch.com/?p=271#comment-77 Cyn, I'm glad you did swipe it as I just came to read it as a result - having lived my entire life within those same contraints... I've become very fond of the phrase, "suck it up, cupcake," but I realize that won't do for *every* encounter >;-) Needless to say, I, too, am for straight talking - I don't have enough time in my life to devote to trying to figure out wtf someone else is tiptoeing around, not saying, but behaving poorly about... RuthAnn, excellent explication of good boundaries in your professional work, while also articulating this dilemma of others' perceptions of your (and mine, and I suspect at least a few others!) affect in any given piece of interaction. Last summer an attempt on my part to be (what I thought was) very diplomatic with a neighbor about some things that felt quite awkward to me, had her leaping up, bursting into tears, and literally running back to her house, and now a year later, she's never spoken to me again... c'est le vie! On the whole, I'll still take my chances with speaking my mind, knowing that I've met my own standards for integrity and compassion, and those proverbial chips will fall where they may. Cyn, I’m glad you did swipe it as I just came to read it as a result – having lived my entire life within those same contraints… I’ve become very fond of the phrase, “suck it up, cupcake,” but I realize that won’t do for *every* encounter >;-) Needless to say, I, too, am for straight talking – I don’t have enough time in my life to devote to trying to figure out wtf someone else is tiptoeing around, not saying, but behaving poorly about…

RuthAnn, excellent explication of good boundaries in your professional work, while also articulating this dilemma of others’ perceptions of your (and mine, and I suspect at least a few others!) affect in any given piece of interaction. Last summer an attempt on my part to be (what I thought was) very diplomatic with a neighbor about some things that felt quite awkward to me, had her leaping up, bursting into tears, and literally running back to her house, and now a year later, she’s never spoken to me again…

c’est le vie! On the whole, I’ll still take my chances with speaking my mind, knowing that I’ve met my own standards for integrity and compassion, and those proverbial chips will fall where they may.

]]> By: Cyn http://ruthannharnisch.com/the-philanthropist/warning-label-i-should-come-with-one/comment-page-1/#comment-76 Cyn Wed, 05 Aug 2009 19:43:40 +0000 http://ruthannharnisch.com/?p=271#comment-76 I may just steal this right off your page (and give you credit for it) as the disclaimer with my life. Someone recently gave me a sign to put above my door, it says "I'm sorry doesn't work here any more." Another one gave me, "Give me your definition of the word, kind". You can take it Ruth Ann and so can everyone else. Keep giving it to all of us straight. Your reality is perfect. I may just steal this right off your page (and give you credit for it) as the disclaimer with my life. Someone recently gave me a sign to put above my door, it says “I’m sorry doesn’t work here any more.” Another one gave me, “Give me your definition of the word, kind”. You can take it Ruth Ann and so can everyone else. Keep giving it to all of us straight. Your reality is perfect.

]]> By: Michael http://ruthannharnisch.com/the-philanthropist/warning-label-i-should-come-with-one/comment-page-1/#comment-46 Michael Fri, 24 Apr 2009 15:22:40 +0000 http://ruthannharnisch.com/?p=271#comment-46 I'm all for blunt. We've got enough soft-speak going on in the coaching community, as a little provocation on the edges does us all good. I’m all for blunt.

We’ve got enough soft-speak going on in the coaching community, as a little provocation on the edges does us all good.

]]> By: Ruth Ann Harnisch http://ruthannharnisch.com/the-philanthropist/warning-label-i-should-come-with-one/comment-page-1/#comment-45 Ruth Ann Harnisch Fri, 24 Apr 2009 04:31:01 +0000 http://ruthannharnisch.com/?p=271#comment-45 Charge-neutral is a tone, an attitude, a way of being. It's the opposite of a drama queen. It's the non-judgmental way to approach a client. Clients don't need the coach's approval or disapproval - the coach's opinion should be kept out of the coaching relationship. The coach is not there to impose judgment or emotion - the coach is there to support the client. It's not about the coach's feelings - it's about the client's feelings. My first coach showed me why this is so important...by judging me. I made a statement about an issue I was facing. The coach received this information and responded with a simple "Oh?" Imagine that word loaded with OPINION. In that moment, I knew the coach was not relating to me AT ALL. Mentally, I checked out of the coaching relationship before the last dripping emotional drop had been wrung out of that syllable. So, friends, colleagues, proteges, others are welcome to my opinion, but my clients don't need my judgment. Hope I've made the distinction clear! Thanks for asking and for writing. Charge-neutral is a tone, an attitude, a way of being. It’s the opposite of a drama queen. It’s the non-judgmental way to approach a client.
Clients don’t need the coach’s approval or disapproval – the coach’s opinion should be kept out of the coaching relationship. The coach is not there to impose judgment or emotion – the coach is there to support the client. It’s not about the coach’s feelings – it’s about the client’s feelings.
My first coach showed me why this is so important…by judging me.
I made a statement about an issue I was facing. The coach received this information and responded with a simple “Oh?” Imagine that word loaded with OPINION. In that moment, I knew the coach was not relating to me AT ALL. Mentally, I checked out of the coaching relationship before the last dripping emotional drop had been wrung out of that syllable.
So, friends, colleagues, proteges, others are welcome to my opinion, but my clients don’t need my judgment.
Hope I’ve made the distinction clear!
Thanks for asking and for writing.

]]> By: Tracy Davis http://ruthannharnisch.com/the-philanthropist/warning-label-i-should-come-with-one/comment-page-1/#comment-44 Tracy Davis Thu, 23 Apr 2009 20:56:39 +0000 http://ruthannharnisch.com/?p=271#comment-44 Hey, I LIKED this. Maybe it's because I can relate. There's a broader range of tolerance for a direct, unvarnished communication style in men; at least, I rarely hear males talk about how they should come with warning labels. But whatever the context, does "neutral" mean you shouldn't express an opinion? Isn't it possible to be neutral, i.e. non-judgemental, and still express your point of view? I would expect that your opinion and take on an issue is at least part of what your friends/ colleagues / clients / protogees / recipients want from you. If they didn't, they could talk to the wall. Or their mother. *Whew*. Tired from typing more than 140. Hey, I LIKED this. Maybe it’s because I can relate. There’s a broader range of tolerance for a direct, unvarnished communication style in men; at least, I rarely hear males talk about how they should come with warning labels.

But whatever the context, does “neutral” mean you shouldn’t express an opinion? Isn’t it possible to be neutral, i.e. non-judgemental, and still express your point of view? I would expect that your opinion and take on an issue is at least part of what your friends/ colleagues / clients / protogees / recipients want from you. If they didn’t, they could talk to the wall. Or their mother.

*Whew*. Tired from typing more than 140.

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