Numbing Myself With The Busy
by Ruth Ann Harnisch on 02/05/10 at 9:32 am
Day 36
When people ask me what I’m “doing” during my sabbatical, I respond that my objective is to refrain from “doing” as much as possible.
I’ve just spent two days largely in isolation and largely in silence. It seems as if those two days evaporated and it’s only been an hour since I bade farewell to everyone and settled in for over 48 hours of relative solitude.
I have 30 minutes left, and that’s not enough.
One of the big messages I’m getting through the conscious doing of nothing is that I have spent most of my life numbing myself with busy-ness. With so much to do, always, and not enough time to do it, ever, I’ve stayed in a constant state of intense action.
With all that busy-ness going on, where could I find the time and bandwidth to deeply reflect on the big truths and transparent beliefs that govern my life?
It’s a very interesting process, this slowing of the merry-go-round.
3 Comments
Rosemary
Feb 5th, 2010
stayed in a constant state of intense action.
Literary critic says: at the base of “intense” is “tense.” You juxtapose a state with actions. That’s exactly what tension is: constantly being ready to act (fight, flee, hide) constantly.
stayed/constant/state = static. intense/action = movement.
What is the reverse? “I have moved in a flowing action of relaxed being.”
Like.
Kokoe
Feb 7th, 2010
At Short Mountain, we acknowledge a process for all recent arrivals called “landing.” it’s a lot like jet lag, but is about busy-ness rather than time zones.
Kokoe
Feb 7th, 2010
When I moved to Short Mountain in 1998, and after I landed, came the hard part. Facing my own busy-ness. For me, that was a tough time.
But I don’t think I ever got through that phase. I was interrupted by the urgent need to care for a friend back in the life I had so carefully shut down. I’ve never regretted the 3 months spent caring for my friend, but I never did get back to that place of deeper quiet.
I can see where this conference may be a setback to your deeper landing process. Rather than a setback, I hope it provides you knowledge of how to step in, out, and back into, stillness.
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