RuthAnnHarnisch.com

Wuv Oo

by Ruth Ann Harnisch on 07/19/10 at 12:51 pm

Day 198

My first thought upon awakening almost every morning: “Where am I?”

I travel so frequently that until I open my eyes, I have no idea whether I’m in the United States or not, whether I’m in a familiar bed or not, whether I’m alone or not.

If I’m not alone, I’m with my husband.

Last week we were in yet another hotel room, and I was struggling in yet another unfamiliar shower, trying to find a comfortable balance of hot and cold.

“I am having a hard time getting the temperature right,” I said through the shower curtain.  ”Counterclockwise makes it hotter,” my husband answered from the bedroom. ”HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT?” I hollered over the now-perfectly-adjusted shower.

“Because,” he said, “I take into account that you are probably going to need some help with things like that, so I pay attention to the details, so I can tell you when you can’t figure it out.”

I am directionally declined.  There are lots of things I’m really good at, but directions? Not so much. I used to be ashamed of having directional dyslexia. Now I’m quite comfortable telling people that I can’t read a map* or that I got lost for 15 minutes trying to get from my hotel room to the lobby. 

Since I was a tiny tot, I have had a near-mystical ability to put clothing on inside out or backwards, even when I pinch the tag between my fingers to make sure that’s what’s going in the back on the inside. I amaze myself with this trait. I honestly don’t know how I do it.

That shower adjustment? I know YOU can look at the dial and see blue with an arrow going one way and red with an arrow going the other and say, “Any idiot could tell how to make it hotter or colder.” Not this idiot.

What I did not know was that my loving husband has been quietly noting, for many years, how to help his spatially challenged wife.  I stood there in the shower, washing away a tear or two.

When I got out, I wrapped myself in a towel and then wrapped him in a damp embrace. “Counterclockwise makes it hotter,” I said, “Might be the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me.”

Many of my coaching clients have complained that they are not being shown love or respect in a way that speaks to them.  I remind them that people show love in their own way, in the “language” that they speak. 

Maybe you’re looking for a dozen roses when your beloved is offering a bouquet you haven’t recognized as love in a different language. 

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*  The best money I’ve spent in years: the iPad with Google Maps.  It’s big enough to see, you can instantly zoom in and out, and for the first time in my life I have some sense of where I am when I hold it in my hands.  Also for the first time in my life, I can be helpful as a co-navigator.  Emphasis on “co.”