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May Be The Last Time, I Don’t Know

by Ruth Ann Harnisch on 05/21/10 at 12:49 pm

Day 139

When I first started drafting this post, a friend had just told me about a diagnosis that will change everything.  “I wish I’d known I was never going to be able to _____ again,” said my friend.  “I would have made a different choice about the last time I was ever going to get to _____.”

Oh, tears welled up when I heard that.  There are so many things in life that end without notice, including life itself.  What would we do differently if we knew for sure it would be the last time we’d ever get a chance to do it?  (By the way, that’s one of my great coaching questions: “If you knew that you were never going to _____ again after this coaching session, how would you feel?” Sometimes people burst into tears at the thought of never again doing whatever it was they were just bitching about.)

I wish I’d known, before I got a major dental makeover, that I was never going to be able to chomp into an ear of corn on the cob again.*

I have no idea when I last held a McIntosh apple  in my hand, taking that big crunchy first bite.  Never again.  Now I eat my apples in slices.

Another friend has been cheerfully telling us what music should be played at that final farewell service.

The lyrics include, “This may be my last time to shake your hand, May be my last time to make a plan.” I tried finding it, and I couldn’t find those words in any version. But I noticed a number of gospel singers seem to customize the lyrics to a similar song. (“This may be the last time you hear me preach,” etc.)  The Staple Singers  did a version that inspired the Rolling Stones ’ The Last Time , supposedly.

I have some big moves planned in the weeks and months ahead, and I’m very conscious of “this could be the last time I ____” or “I may never get another chance to ____” and I am aware that this needs to be my conscious grateful mindset at all times.

It really is always the last time. It’s the last time I’ll see with these eyes, in this moment. As the old saying goes, you never step into the same river twice. But some goodbyes really are final.  I honor all the last times.

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* I wasn’t born with great teeth. But I have them now. My cosmetic dentist, Dr. Brian Kantor , and my periodontist, Dr. Brian Chadroff , spent a few years rebuilding everything that dozens of dentists had assembled over decades.

I have veneers, several implants – five? I oughta know this, I suppose. One bridge. There’s so much going on in there I can’t tell you.  Anyway, everybody who gets nice porcelain veneers knows: you’re not allowed to bite down with those pearly whites on anything hard or crunchy.  You’re not supposed to treat your veneers as if they were fragile crystal, but you must respect them. And wear the night guard. 

Also, Dr. Kantor told me that if he had his way, NOBODY would bite down on an apple or corn on the cob, because that’s how they fracture their natural teeth.  Dr. Kantor is on call for all kinds of fracture emergencies, including Meredith Vieira’s after Will Ferrell dropped  her on the Rockefeller rink  on the Today show and knows how people crack their front teeth.  So now you know too.