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I Mean, Like, Caroline, You Know?

by Ruth Ann Harnisch on 01/02/09 at 11:53 pm

Most people’s first speech coach is Mom.

It’s usually Mom who teaches you how to talk.

She corrects your pronunciation and your grammar (or not).

If you have an accent, you probably learned it from Mom.

Which is why Caroline Kennedy’s devastating reliance on speech crutches comes as such a surprise ‚Äì did the famously multi-lingual Jackie pepper every sentence with ‚Äúlike, um, you know, I mean”?

My jaw dropped the first time I heard Caroline unscripted. I mean, you know, seriously, like, you know, um, I, uh, couldn’t, you know, get a, you know, grip.

Dorothy Wolf, Assistant Principal of Public School #72 in Buffalo, NY, was my second speech coach. She put us through drills like ‚ÄúI had to laugh to see the calf run down the path in a minute and a half.” (You should hear a class full of kids with a Buffalo accent say that one.)

Mrs. Wolf drummed that accent out of me, along with any ‚Äúsuperfluous” syllables like ‚Äúum, uh, er,” and especially ‚Äúlike,” which was the way the dreaded beatniks talked back then. (Kids, Google.)

Thanks to her drilling, I learned to speak clearly, enunciating and pronouncing with precision, loath to utter one of those speech crutches that marks the sloppy speaker.

That skill gave me a career.

The television station where I worked from 1973-88 provided a speech coach for on-camera talent, and I appreciated those lessons. I began helping others with their speaking, and now people tell me I’m genius at it.

My latest speech coaching client called to make an appointment. After chatting for about two minutes, I gave her a couple of exercises to do. And I told her to drop the speech crutches. I did a little imitation of her and she immediately recognized herself – sounding like an inarticulate kid instead of the confident speaker she wants to be.

I told her to start noticing other people’s speech crutches ‚Äì EVERYBODY has them ‚Äì and to be vigilant about erasing her most obvious ones.

Ronald Reagan’s was ‚ÄúWell.” Pat Buchanan’s is ‚ÄúLook.” Barack Obama’s is ‚ÄúUhhh.”

Listen for other people’s: Seriously. Honestly. I mean, actually. OK. Right. Dig. KnowhutImean? Get it? You know. Say. Eh. Ah. Ahem. Yeah.

I recommend Toastmasters. Every Toastmasters group is different. If you don’t like one, try another. You’ll find the right group ‚Äì the one that will help you and support you and bust you on your ‚Äúums” and encourage you to become the best speaker you can be, even if your biggest audience is the person on the other end of the phone.

And if you happen to, um, see Caroline, tell her I’ll coach her pro bono in private so she can put an end to the new journalistic sport of counting her crutches.