And This Is Why She Gets The Big Bucks
by Ruth Ann Harnisch on 02/04/10 at 12:16 am
Day 34
During this sabbatical year, I’m making very few appointments, but I still meet with my coach.
Today the coach helped me reframe a major life situation in a way that took it from “energy drain” to “energy source.”
It’s hard to put a price on a professional service that gets one from “troubled” to “happy,” but that’s what a simple reframe can do. Why couldn’t I see it myself? Why did it take the coach’s observation to shift the way I approach that situation? I don’t know. I’m a trained coach. I might have been able to see it for a client, but I obviously couldn’t see it for myself or I would have.
Now that I’ve experienced this big reframe, I can observe the self-replicating properties of a shift. I’m trying to become aware of other mindsets or trouble spots in my life, and see how I could reframe or redefine those situations too.
Where am I stuck and how could I reframe it to create more ease, more comfort, more joy, more of whatever I want?
4 Comments
Rosemary
Feb 4th, 2010
Can you share some “generic” questions a coach would ask in a situation like this? The kinds of ?s that led to your new reframe or insights.
Christine Heinrichs
Feb 4th, 2010
I'll say. I've got a version of some unexpected events from my week written up, will send separately.
Ruth Ann Harnisch
Feb 5th, 2010
This was specific to a situation, where the coach asked if instead of looking at it from the perspecitve of X role, if instead I could take on the role of X . It was a dramatic shift in perspective.
I would suggest that you visit http://coachingcommons.org and search for the article and comments on “Great Coaching Questions.”
Even though it’s an old article, people still keep making comments and adding their own great questions. The other day, someone added a question I’ll paraphrase: “What are the tears saying?” It might have been “What do the tears want to say?”
Anyway, later that day, someone wept unexpectedly in my presence, and all I could think of to say in that moment was, “What are the tears saying?” And I was very surprised by the answer – it was a complete game-changer. Not what I thought the tears were saying AT ALL.
And I never would have thought to ask that question, ever. My mind doesn’t work like that.
So it was good to have that other person’s suggestion stashed away!
Rosemary
Feb 5th, 2010
Very cool questions and perspectives. You’ve always changed my perspective, in an instant.
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