I’ve just returned from a reception for the TEDGlobal2010 Fellows. These world-changing individuals are intimidating even to the Fellows who precede them. Every time we meet a new class of Fellows, at least one of the outgoing Fellows or Senior Fellows will say, “I’m glad I didn’t have to compete for a spot in THIS class! I never would have been chosen!”

After engaging in a wonderful conversation with one of them, she asked, “And what do you do?”  I answered, “Nothing.  I am doing nothing at this time.”  She looked incredulous.  “I am on sabbatical,” I explained, “And I’m not doing anything.”

After a lifetime of trying so hard to rack up achievement points, I have become completely comfortable telling ultra-high achievers that my job is “doing no work.”

I am beginning to integrate the notion that it’s OK just to be, without having to do.  I always thought that was a crock, a good excuse for lazy people not to pull their weight in the world.  But somewhere deep inside, I have begun to believe that we are enough, each of us,  just being who we are.

I knew it was time for a new photo when one of the TED Fellows said, “I wouldn’t have recognized you from your picture.” And another said, “Oh, I would have. Of course, you’ve gained a lot of weight since then.”

Tim Llewellyn  took that picture, and it’s been my logo for years. Too many years, apparently.

So when Doug Ellis offered photo sessions at the Conversation Among Masters in Albuquerque last month, I signed up.

I thought Doug did a swell job.

Here are the others  from the shoot that have been retouched.

Did I pick the right one for the new profile pic?

During my sabbatical I am looking for sources of delight, and I can always count on Maria Popova  to provide a plethora.

I can’t remember how or where I first heard of her.  Maybe it was Twitter , maybe it was through her creation called TEDify in which she does a mashup  of TED Talks.  Then I was wowed by her  BrainPickings.  I fell in digital love with her. 

When she asked the Twitterverse to help her get to TEDGlobal2009,  I became one of her many contributors. I met her IRL  at Oxford.

Those of us who crowdfunded her attendance did her an inadvertent disservice: by going as a fully-paid TEDster, she was automatically disqualified from applying to be a TED Fellow.  That means she will probably be crowdfunding TEDGlobal2010.

Perhaps that was part of the inspiration behind her excellent list of crowdfunding sites.  (The page takes awhile to load. Don’t be frightened by the seemingly unreadable colors. Wait. When it’s done the copy will be black type on white background. )

Why is it worth clicking on that link and waiting?  Maria did all the work of compiling  websites where ordinary people can raise tons of money for their personal projects. If your school, your place of worship, your artistic kid, or you are trying to raise money, this is the best list of resources I’ve seen.

When you take a dip in Maria’s ocean of information, perhaps you will jump in and subscribe to BrainPickings (and I heartily encourage you to join me as a financial supporter). 

The magic of this connection, and the untold hours of joy I’ve experienced through Maria’s work, are modern miracles to me.  When I was a kid, a long distance telephone call was a Major Big Deal.  Today a Bulgarian woman can reach around the world, change her destiny, and affect countless other lives, all with a click.

And now, with a click, I share her with you.

My houseguest asked yesterday, “What is the difference between what you do on your sabbatical and what you do when you are working?  Because last year, when you are working, you are on the computer.  When you are on sabbatical, you are also on the computer.”

That’s easy.  What I’m doing on the computer now is for fun, for my pleasure, for my entertainment or enlightenment.  What I was doing on the computer last year was work.  I was doing for others, and the details were usually not so much fun.  Although my work was/is entirely my choice, I was doing far too many tasks that drained my energy and far too few that energized and excited me.

Now if I choose to play a game of  Hold ‘Em , I do so without feeling any guilt that I “should” be doing something more productive. 

Now when I write I’m doing it for fun, for my own pleasure, to keep an agreement with myself that adds to my feelings of personal integrity. 

Now my email is mostly correspondence I want to have, not material I “have to” process.

When (or as some of you keep saying, “if”) my sabbatical ends, I want my current relationship with my computer to continue.  In this iteration of the relationship, I feel like the boss.  Yes, I know, I’ve always been the boss.  The difference is in my attitude, and the story I’m telling myself.

What other stories need a rewrite?

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Bonus link on the power of the story we tell ourselves:

 TED Fellow  Daniela Candillari  wrote an essay on performance anxiety  in which she describes how she went from a confident, happy performer to a frightened and insecure one, and how she reversed course after a decade of suffering.

If I hadn’t already signed up, I might have decided to skip the TED Conference. 

This might shock those who know I love the annual gathering, that it is the one thing that is on my calendar in indelible ink, that I am paid up until 2017.

I’ve been attending in my role as president of The Harnisch Foundation , and we have a number of philanthropic investments including grantees  and projects  that are TED-related.  So, while it’s extremely stimulating and pleasurable, TED is also “work.”

I’ve decided to deviate only slightly from sabbatical – I will continue to make and deepen personal connections with grantees. Seeing the return on our philanthropic investment firsthand is meaningful.  This is hands-on work and I am pleased to do it.

However, I’m going to attend the rest of the TED Conference as a person who is on sabbatical.  That person has never been to TED.  I wonder how different it will be if I’m not constantly on the lookout for ways to apply what I’m learning, and the connections I’m making, to my philanthropic work and my circle of associates?

What if I just go as a person with an open mind and no agenda? 

 (I’m thinking this is probably the way to show up every day, sabbatical or not.)

Yes, I know, it’s almost the end of Day 14.  I’m not responding to artificial deadlines this year.

When  TED Community Director Tom Rielly  invited The Harnisch Foundation to be a founding sponsor of the TED Fellows  program, we signed on immediately.  The TED Fellows are some of the most extraordinary people in the world. As a group, they become a palpable force, like a life form.  As individuals, one story is more jaw-dropping than the next, each personality magnetic and memorable.

My longtime personal coach, Renee Freedman , is also a TEDster.  She and I decided to create a pro bono program   to offer TED Fellows ten sessions with a world-class professional coach whose skills match their needs.

One of my sabbatical activities: first responder when a TED Fellow expresses interest in coaching.

I’ve been writing the TED Fellows immediately  when they contact us. I was imposing this pressure on myself, and it didn’t feel in keeping with the spirit of sabbatical.  I want to respect my sabbatical boundaries and eliminate as many work obligations and pressures as possible.  Renee told me she doesn’t promise or intend to respond immediately – her window is 48 hours. “I travel a great deal and I have a very full calendar,” she said.  “I don’t want anyone to expect that I will be able to respond any sooner than 48 hours. If I can, I do, but my promise is 48 hours.”

Further, I was creating a cycle of expectation that could only create disappointment if I don’t respond instantly in the future, or if anyone else connected with SupporTED doesn’t answer within minutes.  Renee’s right: it is not reasonable for a volunteer-run organization to respond immediately to the email of dozens of fellows and coaches around the world.  ”We will get back to people within 48 hours,” she said. “That’s a reasonable expectation which we can meet. ”

Wow!  How freeing!  That was so easy. Set up reasonable response times.  Maybe you, too, push yourself too hard to respond too quickly, setting up unreasonable expectations for future performance.

S0, attention TED Fellows: we strive to respond within 48 hours of your email.  Everybody else: no promises.

Seth Godin’s books can help you avert a lifetime of unfulfilling wheel-spinning.  Don’t have time to read his latest, Tribes? Watch the interview at www.tedfellows.posterous.com and get the gist.  Don’t have the time or $ to attend a TED conference? Watch the TED Talks free online at www.ted.com.

When I spoke via Skype at SoCon2009 and talked about how TED Curator Chris Anderson had made the previously hush-hush super-exclusive TED more accessible, I got pushback from someone who says a $6000 conference pricetag is still  elitist.  The Palm Springs satellite conference is cheaper. As for the Long Beach event, if you are chosen as a TED Fellow, you don’t pay. If you are invited as a guest of TED, you don’t pay. There are ways to go to the in-person events without paying.  But my larger point was that before Chris bought TED from the founder, Richard Saul Wurman, it was deliberately small and secretive. Back then, your high-priced ticket bought exclusive info and access.  Now, the fee helps underwrite the worldwide dissemination of TED’s “ideas worth spreading.” Big difference.

I admire Chris for his willingness to trade comfortably smug exclusivity for risky, less personal outreach. If it’s an idea worth sharing at TED, it’s an idea worth spreading. It’s Chris’s great gift to the world, putting his own comfort, his own resources of time, cash, energy, skill, and talent, in the service of this work. And to his further credit, he acknowledges that the TED community has agreed with this shift and is willing to help him by giving up their precious little club of insiders in order to offer the ideas and sense of community to all. To YOU.  You are inviTED. Are you interesTED?